Friday, November 24, 2006

If I Did It, Here's How it Happened: Ross Cutlery

Tonight on the Fox News Channel...

Let's say that I... ALLEGEDLY... carved up a small animal last night. I'm not saying I did, but IF I did, it probably would've been a turkey, and I probably would've used a very sharp knife, theoretically speaking.

Now of course, there's absolutely no evidence whatsoever that I carved up a turkey. Well, except for that very sharp knife you see in exhibit A, or possibly those cuts you see in exhibits B and C, which are actually injuries I sustained while golfing. Golfing on a turkey farm.

Now before you start thinking that I have incredibly poor taste (which I do), let me take a moment to explain exactly what my Thanksgiving carving story has to do with O.J. Simpson's latest tell-all.

You see, prior to beginning my Thanksgiving cooking extravaganza, I wanted to make sure I had the proper weapons... I mean, equipment. And nothing wreaks terror in the hearts of turkey carcasses everywhere like razor-sharp equipment.

For razor sharp knives in only 1 hour, there's really only one place to go in Los Angeles - Ross Cutlery downtown. Yes, THE Ross Cutlery where O.J. Simpson purchased a 12" knife one week prior to Nicole/Ron murders, because he most likely had some serious cooking going on that week too.

Ross Cutlery is a phenomenal knife store, not just because they have great prices (as much as 30-40% off retail for some brands), but also because the owners are knowlegable, helpful, and extremely customer-friendly. When I asked for a carving fork to go with my knives, they pulled out the Wusthof, but they also lined up several lesser-known and less-expensive brands and explained the difference between each. Compare that to my experience at Sur La Table, where the only option on the table was the $160 carving set, and they seemed really reluctant to show me anything else.

In addition to great knives, Ross Cutlery also offers a very speedy knife sharpening service. As a Global owner, I generally have a hard time getting same-day knife sharpening because Japanese knives are sharpened at a narrower angle (10-15%) than the more common European knives (20%), and as such, require different sharpening equipment and a more precise skill.

Having your knives sharpened by a professional is truly a treat, and after only a 45 minute wait, I returned to find my knives shiny and razor sharp.

Literally razor sharp.

They say that cooking with a dull knife is actually more dangerous than cooking with a very sharp knife and that's true... until you get to the point where you're washing and drying the knife and it's SO sharp that it cuts through the dish towel and slices open your fingers.

Which is exactly what happened last night, your honor. Exactly.

Ross Cutlery

310 S. Broadway St.
Downtown Los Angeles


Todd said...

Very funny, Colleen. Sorry to hear about the hypothetical cuts on your fingers. Did you have to get stitches? The one time I seriously cut my finger while cooking (opening a shrink-wrapped chunk of cheddar cheese with a knife) I should've gotten stitches, but didn't. I regretted it later, as the wound took weeks to heal correctly.

Brian Gage said...

you so clever.

Eddie Lin said...


i got me a global knife too. i sharpen it myself though. i have no idea what i'm doing. am i totally effin' up my tool?

BoLA said...

Ahahaha! YOU ARE SO FUNNY! I love it!

Gobble! Gobble!

Chubbypanda said...

Oh ow. Ow ow ow ow ow. I had that happen a while back. Now, when I dry my knives, I do the back first. Then dry one side at a time, brushing down from the back of the blade towards the edge. It takes a little longer, but eliminates the risk of that particular injury.

- Chubbypanda

PS. Oddly enough, I've never cut myself with the sharpened blades we use for Iaido, although I did stab myself in the forearm many years ago while performing Tsuka-a-te. Luckily, I was using my Iaito (unsharpened katana), so other than a few drops of blood and the wound to my pride, I survived mostly intact.

Jeni said...

Great post girl! Hearing you talk about Ross Cutlery miss my knife store in Osaka...tons and tons of knives and they even let me bargain with them. I looooooove knife shops! Anyways, I've been looking for a place to get my J knives sharpened...about how much do they charge?

Food Allergy Queen said...

Hey Rosie, your evil sense of humor is dead pun intended. I laughed out loud at your headline! Bwah ha ha!

So sorry to hear about your self-inflicted knife injury...aren't those the worst? (I've actually been banned from showing knives at Surfas because I cut myself while talking and re-sheathing them EVERY time. Hello, loser!) Also, thanks for the tip about Ross, good to know where to send people for sharpening Globals. Those Japanese knives are so delicate.

Ciao for now! Kishari

eatdrinknbmerry said...

I own a few german knives and never cut myself with them... that is until i bought my global vegetable knife. jesus, i barely knicked my pinky and it bled for a long time. The problem with globals is that they are super thin and light. J loves to use the global (which i gave to her) because she has a smaller grip. I need the big bulky german knives!

Daily Gluttony said...

CC you are my hero--i've been looking for a place closer to downtown to get my wusthofs sharpened. i have to admit that i haven't had them sharpened in awhile so they are REALLY dull--shame on me--someone needs to stab me a few times with those dull things as punishment. uh, just kidding.

hilarious post!

Brian Gage said...

i'm generally good with a chainsaw...

that's the real reason I never cook...

Anonymous said...

i've been thinking about getting new knives and your comments on the customer service at ross are very helpful. thanks!

triplecreme said...

Ross Cutlery is great. They are the only place in town where you can get a Sabatier.

Colleen Cuisine said...

Todd - no, no stitches, but I'm sure I was pretty close to needing them. My priority at that point was the turkey, and it probably would've taken a severed finger for me to leave for the hospital. haahaa!

BG - aww shucks... don't know where you can get chainsaws sharpened though ;)

Eddie - I would sharpen my own if I knew what I was doing... I think I need to take a knife class or something. Not sure about the long-term damage of doing it incorrectly... seems risky?

Bola - happy turkey day to you!

Chubbypanda - good tip! Although I generally get impatient and just take the more dangerous "slide your hand down the blade" trip. I gotta work on that...

Jeni - yeah, it's a bit of a dive, but a great knife shop! I think they charge $0.75/inch, plus an extra dollar on top of the total for the rush service (2 knives, 1 7" and 1 5" cost me $13 w/tax)

kishari - the image of you slicing yourself open while selling knives is just too much... I can totally picture it! by the way, stopped into surfas last week for some truffles and key lime juice, but musta missed you. it was my first time and I will totally be back - I love that place!

EDnBM - I've heard most men prefer the weight of the germans (except Eddie), whereas women like the lightness of the Globals. I agree though, they definitely are easier to cut yourself with! Lucky Jeni - I want to be the foster mama to some orphan knives!

DG - you've gotta go get your knives sharpened there... the difference is unbelievable, it's like cooking for the first time (OK, not that dramatic, but it's pretty fun to lightly drag the blade across a tomato and have it pop open on contact)

mirthmobile - good luck, hope you find your "dream knives!" Ross is a great place to try a bunch out with no pressure.

triplecreme - ooooh! those sabatiers are so pretty and sharp-looking... I want one!

Anonymous said...

will definitely look into it the next time I go cutlery shopping... and shouldn't Mr. Simpson be really called O.O.O.J.? (Following from Casino Royale, where Bond is informed he must kill 2 to earn the 007 status.)

And yea, bummers about the cuts - not that you got any, of course ;)

The Dabbler said...

and isn't it in the Bradbury Building? That's worth the trip on its own...

rameniac said...

eeeeee... ow.

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